An hour and a half ago I was woken up by an argument outside my door. It was my landlords. They were arguing about whether I would be bothered by a dumpster parked in the driveway. Seriously. A dumpster. Parked. In. The. Fucking. Driveway. At 11:30 on a work night. At this moment, hypothetically, which am I more likely to be bothered by? Which is more inconsiderate: waking someone up out of a beautiful sleep, or parking a nice quiet dumpster sometime in the near future - most likely when I am not asleep?
Apparently, this one is too much for my landlords to figure out on their own.
Not wanting to get dressed just to point out the obvious to people who are at least ten years older than me - and should certainly known better - I turned on my front porch light instead. You know, in that laid-back country way, sort of to silently say, "WHAT IN THE FUCK-ALL IS THAT RACKET OUTSIDE MY DOOR AT GODDAMN MIDNIGHT!?"
To give them a moment to contemplate the effect their argument was having on their good-money-paying tenant, I left the light on and went to take a piss.
Upon return from the bathroom I realized that they were still arguing.
It is now 1 am, and I can't get back to sleep. Instead of laying in bed thinking about how much of assholes my landlords are and how I didn't sleep for shit last night and - good God - I don' t need two fucking insomniac nights in a row, I'm looking for a new place on craigslist instead.
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